Thoughts From Inside My Head

I was sitting in bathtub reading a book I need to finish today because reading in the tub = multitasking. I also read this book while on the exercise bike (which I loathe), which means I win at multitasking today. 

So I'm reading and focusing on not dropping the book, my Post-its or my pen in the tub. It's surprisingly complicated. 

And then someone knocks at the door. First of all, who the heck knocks instead of ringing the doorbell? Either way, they still freaked out the cat. Secondly, I am home all the damned time. I work at home. I am practicaly a hermit. Why is it the the only someone comes to the damned door is when I'm in the bath or shower? It happens shockingly often. 

Of course, my mind immediately goes to those ADT commercials about the thugs that ring the doorbell and then break the door down so they can rob you. And then I think how screwed I am because hello, people are about to break into my house and I'm in the tub. Naked. And my clothes are in another room. That is totally going to suck because not only am I going to get robbed but the thieves are going to see me naked. 

But of course that doesn't happen because that only happens in those commercials, which are completely designed to make you paranoid so you'll buy their services. Also, thugs don't break into houses in my neighbourhood. They just commit arson and slash tires. Ok. Fine. That hasn't happened for 18 months. Whatever. 

No one is breaking down the door but I still can't relax because I'm now convinced someone is staking out our house. So I get out and get dressed to find that no, it wasn't thugs. It was Jehovah's Witnesses, which makes far more sense and is far more likely than thugs. (It still doesn't explain the knocking.)

All of this is really rather similar to a couple of weeks ago when I swear I thought I heard someone open the screen door and try to open the sliding door while I was working in the office. In reality it was snow sliding off the roof. You laugh, but it sounded JUST LIKE IT. 

All this to say that it's entirely possible that being a hermit is making me paranoid. Also, I should not watch television commercials.