It's the time of year when it feels like everyone is making goals and resolutions. People want to do more. People want to make more. People want to be more.
More. More. More.
I think it's good to have goals. I think it's good to strive and stretch. But there's something about seeing everyone's resolutions this year that is causing me to twitch -- it's the underlying idea that we have to be more. Why aren't we enough as we are? Will we ever be enough or will we always keep questing to be more?
2013 was an odd year for me. I did less of pretty much everything. I didn't travel as much. I didn't go to as many conferences. I didn't read very much. I wrote even less. I cut down my evening and weekend computer hours -- partly for health reasons (my wrist doesn't like it) and partly because I don't want to always be plugged in. I took an unplugged vacation.
It wasn't a year without its challenges. By pulling away -- by all but removing myself from my primary blogging niche -- I had a bit of an identity crisis. I was tired of being defined solely as the "books person" as if the fact that I read encompassed all that I am. I am more than that. Cutting myself off of that helped me see that for myself. Getting others to see that is an ongoing challenge.
My blog stats have plummeted. My influence has shrunk. I should be upset by that but I find I'm not.
I could make a resolution to gain more followers. To improve my blog stats. To take pictures of something other than my cat. I could decide to write more or to read more.
What I discovered in 2013 is that for me more is not better. Less may not be better in all regards either but all the social media stats and the goals I spent years pursuing (somewhat successfully) really didn't make a difference. It didn't make me a better person. It really didn't make me more successful. It didn't make me more.
I'm not saying there are not places in my life where I could strive for more. I can always use more patience. I could put away my laundry more often instead of letting it sit in piles on my dresser. We could all approach the world with more kindness.
2013 taught me I am enough, just as I am. I learned how to enjoy and revel in the smallness that is my life. My life may be small when viewed from the outside. My blog posts may consist of meal plans more than not, but food is the love song of my everyday life. I may be guilty of the internet sin that is posting a multitude of cat photos, but the cat brings me joy and I will not apologize for the things in my life that bring me joy.
My life is small but rich. It is enough.
I hope everyone making resolutions this year finds the success they are looking for with them. It's good to strive. It's good to find out new things about yourself. But I hope that everyone also know this -- you are enough, just as you are.