Dear Authors, Don't Do This

Dear Authors,

Here's an AUTHOR DON'T for you.

DO NOT send me an e-book "gift" via Amazon when I've never heard of you before. Moreover, do not send it via an account that I have never, ever used on Amazon.

It's freaking creepy.

Signed,

Me

PS. You lose additional points for it being a children's picture book. Do you see picture books on this blog? No, you don't. Because I don't have kids.