This summer has been one of change. I moved. People died. Things are changing faster than I can keep up with them.

I feel the need to DO something. To chop off my hair. To paint a room. To knock down a wall.

I know it's a reaction to the lack of control over many of the changes, but of the losses in particular. I want a change that I can control.

But if I chop off my hair I'll hate it within days. If we knock down a wall now it'll take too long to really finish and it will stare at me, a reminder of the changes I cannot control.

So I'll watch movies. I'll read books. I'll pamper myself. I'll not make any major changes for a few months.

But I'd really appreciate it if this summer stopped kicking me in the nads.