Christmas Trees Are Weird

I'm sitting here staring at what is probably the biggest Christmas tree I've ever had in my life. The thing must be at least 9.5 feet tall. There's barely room for the angel on top. She's got about half an inch of clearance above her head. The only reason the tree fits in our living room (and the angel fits in at all) is because we sawed an inch off the bottom of it and trimmed that top sticky-uppy branch by a good four inches.

It's big.

Currently the angel is the only thing on the tree. We're letting the branches settle but we figured we should probably put the angel on while we can still reach it. In addition to being big it's also very full. It's a big-ass tree that is honestly, almost too big for our living room. Someone who is a bit saner might say it was too large.

It smells fantastic.

But really, when you think about it - it's weird. I have a 9.5 foot tall tree in my living room. A real tree...that not too long ago was in the forest. Growing. And I'm going to string lights on it and put decorations on it and well, it's just kind of odd when you think about it. It will look lovely, but it's odd.

No, we won't do a fake tree. I think they are perhaps even odder.

We considered a fake tree. We went to look at them and well, I almost burst into tears at the store. I'm just not a fake tree person. I think they look great in other people's houses, I really do. The thing with fake trees (aside from their fakeness) is that they are all about looking "perfect." I'm not perfect. My house isn't perfect. My life isn't perfect. The decorations that go on my tree aren't perfect.

I hate perfect.

My tree will have ornaments on it that I made when I was a kid. It will have ornaments on it that have a glob of glue here and there. It will have ornaments that have seen better days. It will have ornaments that are older than I am.

My trees will have spots in it that aren't full. It will have too many branches in some places. When we go to put the lights on it later today we'll probably pull twigs out of it.

It's not perfect and that's just the way I want it.

When we're done decorating tonight we'll sit in front of it on the floor, look up at it and eat our mint sugar cookies and drink our eggnog. We'll move a few ornaments to a better place. We'll drink in the scent of the evergreen and declare it the best Christmas tree ever. Because it will be it. Because it always is.