When Book People Marry CD People

It is a truth universally acknowledged that when a Book Person gets together with a CD Person their house will be in want of shelves. If the universe failed to inform of you of this fact before you got together and then got married you must realize you are now stuck with each others collections.

I know, I know. You are all saying, "CDs? Pfft! That's what terabyte external hard drives are for." To which I have to say, "Yeah right. And I suppose you are going to tell me that a e-book reader means that I'll never buy another actually paper and page book again either? DREAM ON!" Hard drives blow up or inexplicably brick themselves. Technology advances. Admit it, you've got "important files" stored on a floppy somewhere don't you? And you all know someone who lost their entire cd collection/movie collection/novel/life when their computer or hard drive died don't you? DON'T YOU??? Yes, that's right. You do. So shut it.

Ahem. Sorry, where was I?

Oh right storage. Every available wall in your house will be covered with shelves as CDs and books vie for space. The CD Person will argue that they are allowed to have many, many more CDs than the Book Person has books because CDs take up less space. The Book Person will counter by saying the deserve to have more books than they do because unlike the CD Person they cannot create brand new books by ripping them to a computer and picking out only the parts they like and mixing them with the parts they like of books to produce even more books like they do with CDs. Ahem. Oh wait, I already ahemed didn't I? Furthermore, cookbooks do not count as "books". They are essential tools which the Book Person requires in order to make yummy items. In fact they are reference books and everyone knows that reference books do not count as books. Also included in reference books - writing guides, author memoirs, software guides, anything with the words "technical", "DIY", "Guide" or "How To" in the title.

This means you will constantly rearrange things to make things "fit". You will worship the particle board and allen key loving meatball eating god of Ikea. You will find yourself spending your entire paycheck to there for new! better! storage options that will make things look less cluttered and stop you from feeling like you are suffocating in your own stuff. You may also comptemplate moving directly into an Ikea demo room since you are there all the damn time, until you realize that you've never seen an actual book inside an Ikea (catalogues to not count) and their TVs are fake. Of course on the other hand, you've never seen a real CD in one either.

There are benefits to these collections though. The Book Person can have an urge to listen to a CD that they do not own and low and behold it's often on a shelf in their very house. (Except for the day the Book Person realizes that for some inexplicable reason neither the Book Person nor the CD Person owns any Janis Joplin (though they both would have sworn they did) which prompts an emergency trip to HMV, but not in a Mercedes Benz as the Lord still has not brought them one.) In fact it's a bit like having an HMV in ones own house, admittedly an HMV that heavily favours metal, the Beatles and at the influence of the Book Person, Melissa Ferrick. Likewise the CD Person will ask the Book Person about such and such a book and the Book Person will either have read it, knows someone who has read it or will immediately go to the library catalogue and determine if they have it, how many holds there are on it and depending on the number of holds approximately how long until the CD person can expect to have it. (Note: This does not hold true for books about politics (unless maybe history-type books), Star Trek or X-Files novels or books about heavy metal bands.)

Of course the Book Person was not entirely unaware of the CD Person's collection but didn't quite grasp the depth of it. And as all good Book People she promptly created a required reading list for the CD Person. (A required reading list that has been much ignored as of late. Is there a limit to how many times one can ahem in a post? If not, AHEM!) And the CD Person was aware that the Book Person liked books a lot but still remains slight shell shocked at the damage the Book Person can do to a bookstore, or worse - library.

Somehow you make it all fit and you talk about how when you buy a house you will line walls with shelves. Once the shelves are filled that will be that. When new items are purchased old items will be purged. There will be no more making fit. There will be no more Billy bookshelf/Benno CD shelf worshipping. At least until Ikea rolls out shelves that attach to the ceiling.