Effing Butternut Squash

Once upon a time I used to be able to peel and slice a butternut squash without a. swearing profusely and b. cutting myself. That no longer seems to be the case.

I had grand plans for dinner tonight. Well, not really grand but yummy. There was going to be homemade butternut squash soup and some kind of olive bread-type of thing that I picked up from Art-Is-In Bakery at the farmer's market this morning.

Just like the last time I tried to slice through a butternut squash there was much swearing. And unfortunately I also cut myself. It was kind of the last straw in a day that started shortly after 4 when my upstairs neighbour's alarm clock went off and his cat went nuts right above my head. The upstairs neighbour who is currently not home. The day then proceeded to not dressing properly for the farmers market and freezing my butt off. Then progressing to coming home and cleaning only to react both the dust and the cleaners (which are a "green" product...apparently green doesn't equal "will not try to kill you").

The butternut squash was the last straw. After finding bandaids I can actually use (*someone* bought fabric bandaids which I cannot use, *ahem*) I scooped up the squash and threw it in the garbage. Yes. I know. Wasteful. Tell it to someone who cares because right now that's not me.

So how do you peel and cut a stupid butternut squash without losing an appendage? I'm really quite fond of my fingers, indeed much more so than the stupid squash. But I know it can be done so fess up, how do you do it? (And yes, my knives are sharp...)

(To add insult to physical injury, we can smell the next door neighbours turkey. sigh)