Nerd looking at the cool kid's table

Do you ever feel like you're the last person out there to read a book? I'll sometimes see people post about how they are the last person ever to read a book, meanwhile it's on my shelf waiting for me to read it.

Right now for me it's The Omnivore's Dilemma. I really do feel like I'm the last person to read it. Except not because my boyfriend is going to read it after me. Which, to be honest, isn't really normal around here but I believe has much to do with the following conversation:

- "What are you reading about?"
- "Manure. And it's fascinating."

Well that and I keep making "Hmmmm" and "oh!" noises while I read it. And perhaps sometimes read out interesting facts.

I don't really feel bad about it not reading it earlier but it feels weird. I certainly could have read The Omnivore's Dilemma earlier if I had really wanted to. I could have gotten it from the library or bought it on one of my many book binges.  Even after I bought it I started it and then it sat on my nightstand, untouched for a couple of weeks. Someone else wrote that it took about 40 or 50 pages for them to really get into it and then they just kept chugging along and I have to agree.

I feel the same way about The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie. And Wuthering Heights. And I felt the same way about Jane Eyre until I finally read it.

I feel the same way about book challenges that I watch but do not join. I don't join them because I never finish them and I'm forcing myself to do penance by finishing the ones I've started before starting any others. But everyone looks like they are having so much fun trying to do them. Another reason why I haven't been partaking as much in challenges (because  you all know that my will power is, in fact, mush) is because I don't really have great library access right now which means in order to make books fit into challenges I'd either have to use books off my shelf or buy them and well...I'm trying not to buy more books because I have way too many on my shelves unread. I also have not been reading as much the last 6 or 7 months because well, stress killed my brain and my ability to concentrate. Reading just wasn't something I was doing. I was more in a "stare blankly at the wall" phase, which sometimes was a "stare blankly at the Food Network/HGTV/TLC" phase. I've been feeling like I want to read again recently- a feeling that was gone for way too long.

So I've been feeling like the nerdy kid staring at the cool kid's table wistfully as she watched them laugh and have fun. But I think that someday soon I'll be laughing and having fun with books again.