Feeling psychologically crushed

I wrote at BlogHer yesterday saying that I was in a reading slump.
I have a case of the reading blahs. There's no good reason for them to appear right now. I have piles of great books to read. The weather is perfect for curling up in front of the fire with a blanket and an excellent book. But I just don't feel like reading these days. I want to knit. I want to watch dvds. I want to play on the internet. I want to do everything but read. It will pass shortly I know but for the moment I'm just not in the mood to read. I am officially in a slump.

I do know that it will pass in time but I'm more concerned about the cause. Now that I've thought and reflected on it I think it's quite simple, I have too many books to read. I have the A-Z challenge books that I "need" to get finished by the end of the year. I have the RIP books that I "need" to finish by the month. I have the review books that I "need" to read asap. I have the library books that I "need" to read before they are due.


All this needing is making me feel like a loaf of dough that's been pushed and pressed and spread too thin. I'm stretched and have gaping holes where enjoyment used to be.


Book lists and piles are fanastic to look at but when I look at them and think that I have to have them read by such and such a date I think the enjoyment factor for me dies a bit. Don't get me wrong, at work I rock with deadlines and I love a good to do list to keep me on track with many things. But apparently one thing that does not fall under that is reading.


Something about creating a list of books that I "need" to read with by a certain deadline kills some of the enjoyment for me. (This doesn't quite apply to library books becaue that's simply how library books work and always have.) Right now I have reading lists competing with reading lists and it's totally killing my literary buzz.


So for now I'm saying screw the lists. Bye-bye. See ya later. Oh I'm not giving up on them totally, I still do really want to get all of those books read and I will. Eventually.


But I've decided there are enough deadlines in life. Enough chores that have a to do list that I can checkmark. Don't get me wrong, there will still be reading challenges in my future (I could do a whole year of From the Stacks and still not get through all the unread books on my shelves). But no more prescribed reading lists I don't think. Not after I get these done. Eventually.


So for now I'm curling up with Safe Passage because it arrived today and I want to read it and I'm enjoying it. After all, that's what this is all supposed to be about anyway, isn't it?


(It's also a fantastic reason to lie and bed and not move. Kit-Cat (Beyond Books) was visiting for a few days and brought her Wii. I am Wii Sore. Also a bit Wii Addicted and have Wii Envy.)