I should be unpacking

But instead I'm blogging. Yay me!!!

It's time for another episode of "How the Hell People Find Sassymonkey".  Ready? Good.

monkey meat for sale
I resent that. I'm neither meat nor am I for sale. (But the curious want to know, how much you offering?)

bad HP laptop Customer service
Um yeah, been there, done that. Took a month but it was eventually resolved satisfactory and now I'm shopping for a Mac.

dinner recipes under 350 calories
I don't count calories. You're shit outta luck.

"randy bag"
I knew I'd get a hit on that one eventually. I have a randy bag. I like it. I've also bagged a Randy. I don't recommend it (or perhaps I just had a defective model).

FEELS LIKE SWALLOWING RAZOR BLADES
Go to the damn doctor and no I don't mean Dr. Google.

Well Imagine that
I know, crazy isn't it?

I dont understand
Me neither.

Whats for dinner
Cake

how many people don't wear underwear
Lots.

ten things I don't understand
Really? Only 10?

wearing underwear that is too small
So buy a larger size. It's not brain surgery.

may i see you underwear
No.