Butchers have big breasts

I'm new to this whole butcher thing. Where I grew up we didn't have butchers who ran their own businesses. The grocery store had people who worked in the meat department but we never really thought of them as butchers and being poor we bought the meat the was on sale, not the stuff you had to request. The closest we came to a butcher was when my brother would order a half a cow and a whole pig to put in his freezer and then share some of his bounty with us (mmm ham steak).

But since moving to this apartment I've caught the butcher bug. It's in no small part due to the fact that the meat in my local grocery store sucks. The grocery store is called "No Frills" and let me tell ya, they aren't kidding. This place doesn't even have a store butcher. The meat comes to the store already placed in styrofoam and industrial grade saran wrap. And it really does suck. I will occasionally buy ground beef there but aside from deli meat (nope, no deli there but they carry prepackaged stuff) and bacon (my father worked for the company that packages the bacon for years so I trust it) that's it. Every other meat, be it steak, chicken or pork, that I've bought that has made a quick trip to the trash can. The meat "department" there scares me. So I turned to butchers to fulfill my meat needs.

There are two butchers I frequent. One is my "local" butcher (it's not exactly around the corner but a respectful walking distance) called "Meat on the Beach". No, I'm not joking. That's really what it's called. They do some great marinades. But the last time I ate the chicken I cooked from there I was *ill*. (Disclaimer - I totally do not blame the quality of the meat AT ALL. My stomach is very finicky when it comes to chicken and the chicken was fine the first night but my body did not appreciate the leftovers at all. Meat on the Beach has no blame in my getting sick unless you count that their totally irresistible mango poppy seed marinated chicken breasts were too tempting to leave without adding to my order.)

The other place I go to is at the St. Lawrence Market. It's called Witteveen Meats. They also have very tempting marinades. I soooooo highly recommend any of the beef that had been marinated in bourbon. It is very good. And there's also the thing where they tend to employ rather cute young men. It's a rather irresistible combination. (Yes I'm a sucker for cute men, sue me.)

I've bought chicken breasts from both of these places and it has to be said - butchers have really big breasts. Honestly, they are HUGE! And it muddles the heck out of me because I've been brought up on these tiny grocery store chicken breasts. But the breasts from the butcher are easily twice the size! I swear there are some Hollywood starlets (and countless wannabe starlets) that would KILL to be able to upgrade their breasts like I have. Yes I know that grocery store breasts are probably just as big but they split them so that we get two. Whatever. The butcher breasts are still freaking huge.

Now these breasts, they are good. Great quality. Take longer to cook than most recipes call for. Today I went through an entire episode (sans commercials because I'm watching on DVD) of Sex and the City and the suckers still weren't finished. They mess up the serving yield. I'm making chicken salad and you figure two people, plus wanting leftovers, equals two breasts right? But no, not these breasts. Not the super-sized butcher breasts. Two chicken breasts later and I'm really, really hoping that my guest tonight really likes TW's chicken salad so I can hoist some off on them when they leave. Total miscalculation on my part. Two grocery store chicken breasts would have been the right amount. But since it's been about two months since I had butcher breasts I grossly under estimated how much food two of their big breasts would yield.

So be warned - butchers have big breasts.