Time - don't let it slip away*

I've now been off of work for more than a week and it's really odd. Last week I was so busy and still catching up on sleep that I didn't even notice. And now...now it feels like I'm doing nothing but wasting time and that is bothering me because when I'm working I crave time off.  So now I have time off and I'm not really doing anything.

I'm a time waster. I've always been. It's because I'm lazy and unmotivated. Right now my apartment is a mess and there's not excuse for that other than that I'm lazy and unmotivated and well...who's going to see it anyway? And I have too much stuff.  For the too much stuff I'm supposed to be working on that.  I'm supposed to be decluttering and carting things to Goodwill. But I'm not. I'm not doing a darned thing.  Well...not yet at least.

I've started making lists again. I did everything on my list today. Yay me!  Tomorrow's list is longer though.  I should still be able to get everything done though. The biggest thing on it is rearrange my books. That kinda scares me because it's a fairly big job (well...certainly not as big as some people I know...).  I still haven't totally decided how I'm going to do it but I'm floating around some ideas (and no, colour-coded is not one of them).

I guess it's because I typically spend so much time alone this time of year that I do a lot of thinking. Plus well...it's the end of the year and that's a good time for thinking too. But I really have been thinking a lot about how the last year was and what I'd like the next year to be, or at least how I'd like it to be different and in what ways I'd like it to be different.  There's a bigger post than I'm prepared in there somewhere...I think I want to read a book first. But it will all make sense someday. I hope. Maybe. Some days I wonder if it's ever really supposed to make sense. But in the meantime I have clean dishes and I'm about to clear of the counter so it will be ready for me to bake bread tomorrow. Because that's one of the things on my list.  And I'm trying to stick to my list. I love making them but I'm not so good at following them...

* Aerosmith