I'm so screwed...

So I'm prepping for an interview I have on Monday. Yeah, I know you are thinking that I have tons of time. Ha! I'm so over my head for this interview. First of my portfolio sucks. I asked my tech writing instructor for some advice on what I should include in said portfolio...

Essentially what she told me is that I really have nothing that is appropriate. Now I'm panicking. Meh.

Soooooooo over my head.

Drowning...

Help!

Ok...breath.

This is what they list.

1. Writing and editing technical manuals and coaching materials. hmmm I so should have stolen the blue book from my last job and redid it for this (ummm does anyone there read this...*waves hello*). Or my old cl manual from a website I used to volunteer with... Ok, need to find a short training manual and edit/rewrite it. Display old and new side by side in portfolio.

2. Develop curriculum guidelines for training workshops...damn. I organized workshops in high school. A province-wide one no less. Of course I no longer have the stuff from it. darn. Hmm must think about this... I could make up a dummy curriculum guideline for a workshop on something...someone give me a workshop topic please (and keep your minds out of the gutter...).

3. Creating template-based procedural software manuals - hmm looks like I'm creating a dummy software manual too... Eep! Or maybe I could just do an outline of one...

4. Desktop publishing with Adobe PageMaker 7.0 - see if I can download a trial version and play with it...it should be to hard although this means checking with my roomie since I've been using her computer...

5. Creating moderately complex help files with RoboHelp - ditto with above only trial version of RoboHelp.

6. Performing quality and usability checks of web and software assessments - ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm yeah - that they can train me for....

The ideal candidate will also possess:
* flexibility and enthusiasm -- hmm I guess I could do some yoga to work on the flexibility thing...(that lame joke is courtesty of the one that meows)
* an orientation toward creative problem solving - check
* the ability to work independently with minimal supervision - check
* exceptional organizational and project management skills - check I think...
* familiarity with blah, blah, blah theories - working on it
* a team-oriented approach to success - check (so long as no one on that team is out to screw me over...)
* an interest in interface design - sure, why not.

Now I'm going to go yell at my tech writer friend in CA for help...

Now if anyone tells me that I have lots of time to prep or that I'll do fine I'll kick them in the shins...