Tough Choices

Tough Choices

Date: 2008.03.11 | Category: Uncategorized | Tags:

Remember when you were a kid and you thought that being an adult would be the best thing ever? And then you became an adult and you realized that a lot of the time it just plain sucks? Yeah. One advantage to being an adult is that when situations reach maximum suck levels you can make the choice to improve your situation. Unfortunately this often involves tough choices.

About a year ago I changed roles at my job and stepped into those wonderful management shoes. And you know what, there were times when it was ok. Sure, it was a lot more responsibility and with that comes a lot more stress and with that comes a lot more hours. While there were times when it sucked but overall it was manageable. And then one day it wasn’t. It wasn’t the day after that. Or the week after that. Or the month after that.

I wasn’t happy. I was so far removed from happy that I didn’t even know what happy looked like. I was vocal about it. I talked to those higher up the food chain and those at the same level. I wasn’t an isolated case. I tried to find a solution to it. I kept being told that things would change. Day after day and week after week the unmanageable stuff remained. It wasn’t going away. Nothing was changing. There was no light at the end of the tunnel.

I was tired. I was tired due to stress. I was tired from the extra hours. I was tired of creating a Must Do list every day and then opening my email and watching that list flutter away into Never-Never Land because something was on fire. I was tired of always reacting and never working. I was tired because the work load was slowly suffocating me.

Again, I was vocal. Options were discussed including me switching back to my old role – something I wanted but I really did not see happening successfully. And then other shoe dropped. Or the straw that broke the camel’s back appeared on stage. Or insert your favourite (mixed) metaphor.

As usual, I won’t go into details concerning events at work but some things happened over the course of a week that confirmed to me once and for all that things would never change. There was no light at the end of the tunnel, and worse yet, I was along in the darkness. Somewhere out in that darkness there be dragons and all I’ve got to defend myself is a pitchfork.

So I made my decision. It was by no means an easy decision. It was a tough one to make and it was, and is, still scary as all get out.

I resigned from my job. No, I do not have another job.

Friday was my last day. Yesterday was my first non-working day. It’s weird. It’s scary. It doesn’t quite seem real.So far I seem to sleep a lot.

I’m mentally and physically exhausted from fighting those invisible dragons with my pitchfork. So I’m giving myself time to rest. Some time to heal. And some time to plot.

There will be more news in the coming weeks as I have more to tell you but, for now, I think this is scary enough.

12 Responses to “Tough Choices”

Marie D. 08/03/11 12:14

One door shuts, another opens (and it has been true for me in that kind of situation). Have a good rest, and I am keeping my fingers crossed that you’ll find some better workplace soon.

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Zandria 08/03/11 20:06

Arrghh! How frustrating. It sounds so immensely stressful — I’d hate that. I’m glad you’re getting away from it, and hopefully you’ll find something more suited to what you want.

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laurie 08/03/11 20:19

Nice metaphor-laden announcement. I walked away from two jobs when they became untenable. I have never, ever regretted it. Nor, I am sure will you.

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Ems Anxiety 08/03/11 22:41

I think you’re amazing.

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kim 08/03/11 23:09

Good for you! I’m in a similar sounding situation and my last day is Friday. I’m SO looking forward to unemployment it’s not even funny. I think that everything happens for a reason so we will both find new, awesome, appreciative jobs sometime soon! In the meantime, enjoy that downtime!

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Kat 08/03/12 02:00

It must have been pretty bad situation – my sympathies.

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Karoli 08/03/12 04:07

I had seen your Tweets suggesting this might be what was happening. I’m glad you decided you were more important than the job. All good luck to you finding a new one that’s better suited to your skills.

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Deby 08/03/12 19:22

You still have your wits about you. Just in time, kiddo…!

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trish 08/03/13 11:48

Good for you! I think you’ll find that things work out when you’re willing to take a risk on yourself.

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KatieC 08/03/15 17:33

I’ve also been thinking lately how hard it is to be a grown up – and how I couldn’t wait to grow up as a kid because I thought it was all staying up late and eating cookies whenever I wanted. Good for you for recognizing a bad or unsuitable situation and acting on it. I’ve been in a yucky work situation before and, looking back, I hate how long I stayed and just took things. I don’t know that your situation is the same, but I admire (and am inspired) by your ability to recognize that something needed to change and then instigating that change yourself. Good luck!

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